Official Halo 4 Interview

This afternoon I had the privilege of being interviewed by my 10-year old cousin. He is an astute journalist with a brilliant academic record. Just look at his resume!

If it's on Facebook, it must be true.

My cousin, or as we call him, 'Steak', is known to ask all the hard-hitting questions. Even Barbara Walters admits that she "got got by him one time" [citation needed]. Below you can find a transcript of the exclusive interview I was honored to be a part of. Beware though, he's quite the fact checker and nearly made me cry.

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Steak
hi arm

Tex
Hi

Steak
is hallo out yet

Tex
It came out last week.

Steak
do you have it

Tex
Of course.

Steak
the xbox

Tex
Yes.

Steak
how did you get the halo xbox

Tex
I did not get the Halo 4 XBox. If you want it you're going to have to ask your mom very, very nicely.

Steak
yeah do you like halo 4

Tex
I do. It was fun to play and had some sad parts.

Steak
didnt the charchter die in halo reach

Tex
Those characters died in Halo Reach, yes. But Master Chief isn't one of those guys, so he doesn't die.
The new guys are not from Halo Reach.

Steak
cool do you like the new guys better

Tex
Honestly, no. I don't like the new guys. I'm all old school.

Steak
i like emele it was pretty sad whenshe died

Tex
Emile was pretty cool. A real tough guy. I like that he went down swinging.

Steak
yeah what other games do you play

Tex
Portal and Grand Theft Auto mostly.

Steak
have you played portal 2

Tex
Yes I have. I played it in one sitting after my finals were done. Didn't leave my room.

Steak
i like wheatlys accent

Tex
Me too.

Steak
but i dont like how he turns bad

Tex
I don't think he turns bad, I think he just liked being in charge and didn't want to be seen as a dummy anymore.

Steak
but he turned GlADos into a potato

Tex
That's not too bad. After all, he did help Chell for a while.
He only turned her into a potato so she couldn't take back control, but it didn't work out too well anyway.

Steak
True but to GlADos he was a devil

Tex
I'm sure she was just as mean to him when she was in charge. I think they're even now.

Steak
so who killed GlaDos

Tex
Technically no one. She's still alive. She let you go at the end, remember? But in the first one, you kill her.

Steak
oh how?

Tex
You set of some explosions at the end of the first Portal, and she gets sucked in and it takes you to the surface.

Steak
is their a portal 3

Tex
Probably not.

Steak
because wheatly is deade
i mean dead

Tex
No he's not. If you watch the end of the credits, he's floating around in spaaaace.

Steak
well tecnectly we wont see him again

Tex
That is true.

Steak
have you played any infected/zombie games

Tex
I did. In Halo 4 you're infected by the Flood in the zombie games.

Steak
is that all
dead island?
the walking dead?

Tex
Never played. I don't watch that show.

Steak
the walking dead is a game and a show

Tex
And a comic book.

Steak
the game is Alot different

Tex
I bet.

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We also discussed Comic-Con, PAX and the weather. Shortly after the interview Steak presented me with a Minecraft Nyan-cat (of which I'm skeptical on it's uh...originality). This was after I helped troubleshoot him through taking a screenshot on Windows/Paint and uploading it to Facebook. Kids these days.

But then he made me this.

I don't care if he used a tutorial, this is LEGIT!

Curse you, adorable little child!