Arks & Crafts - Hard Light Candy

This weekend kicks off the annual Fight Like A Girl Tournament where we all get together and shoot one another (online) to raise money and awareness for breast and cervical cancer research as well as demonstrate the generosity of gamers everywhere.

I had the honor of competing two years ago and was planning on doing so again this year...then TheDonWan dropped a bomb:  Creative Bundle Contest

HELL YEAH

Screenshots? Do I look like some shrubbery?
Forge? Not a duck.
Photoshop? Better not, would probably just draw dicks everywhere.
Fan Art? I will art the hell out of some Halos!

I decided to make my entry into FLAG my first "Arks & Crafts" segment here on my blog, where I'll showcase way-artsy (probably mostly Halo related) makings, and since my Plasma-Pops were such a hit I knew I needed something hard and mouthwatering to get all the fine ladies attention.

Hard Light Candy

Get your mind out of the gutter.

If you haven't finished Halo 4 yet, stop reading and go do that.

You done?

Really?

Was it on easy?

Need a tissue?

Did you wash your hands?

Ok, fine.

These were inspired by the ending to Halo 4, where Cortana encases our hero Master Chief in a shell of hard light to protect him from a nuclear explosion, just before you grabbed that box of tissues.

This was my first time making any type of candy, so I knew I had to get some serious gear. Luckily there is a store here called Do It With Icing that makes you feel like Willy Wonka when he decides he's going to create candy for the rest of his life. Seriously. I walked into that place and nearly dropped out to go work in a candy shop. I got everything from sticks to blueberry flavoring.

The stickers were on sale and I wanted to put them on my homework.

So hot in hurr.

I'm no chemist. So I wasn't too disgruntled when my first batch turned into a disaster. The syrup got too hot and turned yellow...then when it cured it became too dark.

Looks like death.

The gummy looks like it's being swallowed alive. Will make for good Didact candy.

Thankfully I was able to find a solution to my problem and continued to waste my boyfriend's resources.

So much better!

The real major issue was the gummy bear I wanted to put inside the candy. I knew it was going to be hot, and that he might not make it in one solid piece. I froze the gummy bears, hoping to buy myself some wiggle room. Well...

Like those creepy fetus posters they show you in Sex Ed.

Things got better for Master Gummy Bear as the temperature dropped in the syrup..but if I let it get too cool, the syrup would become more viscous and eventually harden.

No filter needed. Suck it, Instagram.

I don't eat candy, so I had to rely on the taste buds of some test subjects. They said they could taste a hint of blueberry and like that it wasn't super overpowering. But what do they know? I guess I'll just have to have another contest and get more feedback from the winners ;)

Official Halo 4 Interview

This afternoon I had the privilege of being interviewed by my 10-year old cousin. He is an astute journalist with a brilliant academic record. Just look at his resume!

If it's on Facebook, it must be true.

My cousin, or as we call him, 'Steak', is known to ask all the hard-hitting questions. Even Barbara Walters admits that she "got got by him one time" [citation needed]. Below you can find a transcript of the exclusive interview I was honored to be a part of. Beware though, he's quite the fact checker and nearly made me cry.

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Steak
hi arm

Tex
Hi

Steak
is hallo out yet

Tex
It came out last week.

Steak
do you have it

Tex
Of course.

Steak
the xbox

Tex
Yes.

Steak
how did you get the halo xbox

Tex
I did not get the Halo 4 XBox. If you want it you're going to have to ask your mom very, very nicely.

Steak
yeah do you like halo 4

Tex
I do. It was fun to play and had some sad parts.

Steak
didnt the charchter die in halo reach

Tex
Those characters died in Halo Reach, yes. But Master Chief isn't one of those guys, so he doesn't die.
The new guys are not from Halo Reach.

Steak
cool do you like the new guys better

Tex
Honestly, no. I don't like the new guys. I'm all old school.

Steak
i like emele it was pretty sad whenshe died

Tex
Emile was pretty cool. A real tough guy. I like that he went down swinging.

Steak
yeah what other games do you play

Tex
Portal and Grand Theft Auto mostly.

Steak
have you played portal 2

Tex
Yes I have. I played it in one sitting after my finals were done. Didn't leave my room.

Steak
i like wheatlys accent

Tex
Me too.

Steak
but i dont like how he turns bad

Tex
I don't think he turns bad, I think he just liked being in charge and didn't want to be seen as a dummy anymore.

Steak
but he turned GlADos into a potato

Tex
That's not too bad. After all, he did help Chell for a while.
He only turned her into a potato so she couldn't take back control, but it didn't work out too well anyway.

Steak
True but to GlADos he was a devil

Tex
I'm sure she was just as mean to him when she was in charge. I think they're even now.

Steak
so who killed GlaDos

Tex
Technically no one. She's still alive. She let you go at the end, remember? But in the first one, you kill her.

Steak
oh how?

Tex
You set of some explosions at the end of the first Portal, and she gets sucked in and it takes you to the surface.

Steak
is their a portal 3

Tex
Probably not.

Steak
because wheatly is deade
i mean dead

Tex
No he's not. If you watch the end of the credits, he's floating around in spaaaace.

Steak
well tecnectly we wont see him again

Tex
That is true.

Steak
have you played any infected/zombie games

Tex
I did. In Halo 4 you're infected by the Flood in the zombie games.

Steak
is that all
dead island?
the walking dead?

Tex
Never played. I don't watch that show.

Steak
the walking dead is a game and a show

Tex
And a comic book.

Steak
the game is Alot different

Tex
I bet.

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We also discussed Comic-Con, PAX and the weather. Shortly after the interview Steak presented me with a Minecraft Nyan-cat (of which I'm skeptical on it's uh...originality). This was after I helped troubleshoot him through taking a screenshot on Windows/Paint and uploading it to Facebook. Kids these days.

But then he made me this.

I don't care if he used a tutorial, this is LEGIT!

Curse you, adorable little child!

Fight Like A Girl

 I've gone and entered in this years FLAG Tournament..but not at a gameplay competitior. This year a Creative Category has been opened...and I'll be damned if I don't get something delicious all up ins.

I've already got an idea of what I'll be making/submitting..so watch out! 

Extra Life 2012

As you all know, I've got a real problem when it comes to playing Halo.

On Oct. 20th 2012, I'm attempting to fix my problem by playing Halo for 24 hours straight (hah, fix..). I'll be doing so by participating in the annual 24-hour video

game marathon Extra Life. Our team of Halo-Nerds is on a mission to save kids through video games, and we would appreciate your help.

Each of us has chosen our local Children's Miracle Network Hospital. I've selected Rady's right here in San Diego, where thousands of children are treated each year, regardless of their family's ability to pay.

Would you be willing to donate $1 for each hour of the marathon I play to help me raise money? Really, any kind of sponsorship is appreciated and your donation is tax-deductible and ALL PROCEEDS go to help kids. I've got a personal goal of $117 I'd like to reach and my team is collectively aiming for $343. But I know we could break the bank.

I know it's not the traditional route of raising money...but if you're reading this, you know I'm anything but. Some walk, I like to shoot things in space.

To make an online donation please click my name on the team page and then click the "Support This Participant" button on this page.

Thanks for reading my wall-of-text and for your support!

Fear The Pink Mist

As a kid my folks didn't want me to have pierced ears. I thought I did, but when I was old enough and the opportunity presented itself, I opted out. I just didn't care anymore. That and I learned that I scarred easy/heal funny/have awkward reactions to some metals. I've been fortunate enough to be able to find some really fabulous clip-ons and I'm a big fan of magnetic earrings...especially since they're the only way I'll ever get to wear 'diamond' studs. Until I start my rap career.

Granted, I do still get a bit jelly when I see all the cool, gaming-related earrings that are for you wenches with pierced ears. But today, after seeing a picture of a friend's daughter with some mother trucking Halo 4 earrings she got from PAX I said enough was enough.

Pardon my hair

My homemade Needler Earrings are probably the greatest thing since sliced bread (good call, JDQuackers). Now when I get into fights, I can not only take my earrings off but use them in battle!

The smallest weapon ever. Well, second smallest. The first is in your pants.

They're nothing but acrylic and clay. The needles themselves are part of some super-glittery foliage that was on clearance at Michael's that I stripped of the said glitter. Gorilla Glue works wonders...thankfully nothing got stuck to my ears.

Can he see me?!

I think my boredom is getting the best of me. By this time next week I may build a Warthog out of some shoe boxes and a skateboard.

Get Stuck

Hedge took the liberty upon himself to photoshop a picture of my sister with her Plasma Pop.

September 2012

She liked it.

Plasma Grenade Cake Pops

The boyfriend is out of town...that means I have to find ways to keep myself busy, other than sitting my ass down in front of the XBox for a week-long binge (which I am probably overdue for/saving for Halo 4).

I polled twitter with the idea of making Cake Pops...but stickier.

Bowchikawowow.

Betcha can't sti-...eat it.

Yaaaay! Plasma Pops! This was my first ever attempt at making cake pops...which turned out to be a bit of an episode since Macy's charged me $17 more than Target did. I also couldn't buy the red cake iron in stores. Boooo.

These double as a birthday present to my youngest sister who turns 16 15 16 today. She used to play Halo with me and loved Grunts, so last year I got her a Grunt plush..she used to be so cute with her tan-line from her Grunt wristband she wore non-stop. Ugh. Now I feel old.

Boo, reading manuals.

The standards like cake mix (confetti filled, of course), icing and food dye were a given, I had to get creative with the detonator and green dots on the side of the plasma. I wound up using orange Air Heads for the detonator and opted to use green gel instead of the tops of some Tic-Tacs for the dots...with them they kinda looked like a rather round/obese Hunter.

Anyway, these grenades will explode in your mouth...with deliciousness (or so I'm told, I don't eat sweets). I originally planned on making a little mini-video to showcase my..uh..'skills', but gave up halfway through because I didn't want to edit videos. So all y'all get are some progress pics.

Supplies!

You can hear the grunt headshot sound right now. Don't lie.

My first batch. Whoops.

Blue you up.

Grunt Birthday Party Surprise

I'm not the baker in the family, but I'm pretty pleased with the results. Some issues I had were the shape of the cake balls (a little lopsided due to the mold..will have to roll by hand next time), the green dots on the side of the grenades (would have liked to use something more obvious, the store had no flat green sprinkles) and how abso-freakin'-loutley tedious the whole dripping process is. I have about 20 more balls sitting around, waiting to get blue.

Hah. Balls. Blue balls. Jokes.

...it's going to be a long week.

Black Forest Fake

This past Saturday was Raul's of 40s and 20s birthday. In order to get out of buying the punk a birthday present, I made him a cake.

But not just any cake, he's a nerd.

This cake was a triumph.

Behold! The dream and desire of every test subject: The Black Forest Fake. I call it a Fake because I didn't layer it with the whipped cream and the cherries and the kirsch, but with vanilla frosting, vodka and the cherry juice from the jar.

Also cause it’s a lie. Duh.

I was a bit worried there would not be enough for everyone (it was a party of close to thirty people), but thankfully enough people took off early that I was able to accommodate everyone by cutting the slices in half.  I don't have a sweet tooth but was told it was delicious.

That could have been the booze and munchies talking though.

Props to The Geeky Chef for the guidance.

Omnomnom

Funnier than Emile sitting on Jorge. Jorge could take Emile. 

Killing Spree - With Audio!

As promised, my version of Poker Face, titled "Killing Spree". It takes place in the Halo Universe, at the crossroads of Garageband and Auto-tune. I am by no means a singer, so enjoy the auto-tune tone deaf.



I'd like to thank Gaga, T-Pain, HP, cody and Hunt3r. And b.net for the dmrshot.wav. And this place for audio. Everything that isn't my voice is copyrighted to their respected owners.

Enjoy.

Lyrics.

Plain mp3.

Killing Spree

How do I combine the two things I go lalalala over? By making up Halo related lyrics to Lady Gaga's Poker Face.

Credits go to Hawaiian_Pig, Cody Miller and Hunt3r for their contributions in the thread. Expect a cover of this soon. Just gotta get that dmrshot.wav.